MY WONDERLAND

I'm fine

2012-02-16T22:07:00.000-08:00

Learning how to manage my life lately.
I think God is being cruel to me but I still believe in Him.
Surprisingly, I didn't cry because I thought I would break into tears every morning and night.
But it didn't happen at all.
Maybe I'm growing stronger.

PS: my plan is Korea---Taiwan---UK

Shutting down

2012-02-16T00:36:00.000-08:00

Responsibility.
A teacher needs this.
But this word is very heavy.
My shoulders are so tired.
Again, I will never let go my hands.
Never.
So, you better be careful.
FINISH YOUR HOMEWORK!!!!!!!!!!!

JIBURO

2012-01-12T06:29:00.000-08:00

I don't know what JIBURO means but the Chinese title is 外婆的家 (grandma's home).

I watched it once years ago and this probably will be the only movie that I will never watch for the second time.

The movie sucks?? No,definitely not. This is the greatest movie ever but I don't think I have the strength to watch it again.

Basically, this is MY movie, this is MY story.....I think somebody stole it and moved it to the big screen.

I had done everything that the boy had done (most of them) in the movie.

My grandma is as caring and lovely as the grandma inside the movie.

They love each other just like the way I love my grandma.

I couldn't control my tears and my heart was cut into pieces while every scene was crossing in front of me.

It is such a touching movie.

Introduce to you but don't need to invite me this time.

I know MY story.

批评

2011-12-17T07:59:00.000-08:00

虽然我知道我必须虚心地接受四面八方而且是毫无预警的批评，
但是你可以不要一直一直，不断不断地践踏我的自信心吗？
我好像在沙滩上堆砌着我的城堡，
你一过来，一脚就把所有东西都推散了。
我看着风中的沙，无可奈何。

所有批评都是我努力的动力，
但是我还是要保护我那无所谓的自尊心。
我知道我为我那不值钱的自尊心错过了很多。
但是请允许我任性。

我讨厌你。

J & D

2011-12-01T04:12:00.001-08:00

My friends Jessie and Darren are getting married soon. Happy for them. Congratulation.
Read a statistic, it said the percentage for u to meet ur love ones is 0.0000000049%.
I'm pretty sure u both are the lucky one, because love has never been easy for most of the people.
Again, congratulation. ^^

人渣

2011-11-23T04:46:00.001-08:00

妈的，我很火大，真的很火大！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！
为什么我总是遇人不淑？
今天早上收到那封简讯，我就很想捏死他！！！！！！！！

今年我遇到两个人渣，他们二位有女朋友了，但是还对我死缠烂打。
第一位人渣我就暂且放过他，由于远距离的关系，他只是在面子书上骚扰我，还没有威胁到我的人生安全。
如果我朋友再打电话告诉我你又想追求我，我很难保证我不会失去人类基本的风度，然后作出什么没礼貌的事情。
你和你女朋友没有感情，管我屁事啊！！！！！！！！！
你这种骑牛找马的臭男人，去死吧！！！！！！！！！！！

另外一位，是我时运低到谷底才会遇到他。
我一直问我自己前三百年是不是一件好事都没有干才会遇到这种人。
让我形容一下。
他的外表很老实，老实到一种程度，你会觉得他是毫无心机的人。
是一位基督徒，但我觉得他是假基督徒。
傻傻的个性，但其实是装傻。
满口歪理，这个宇宙最会讲歪理的人就是他了，我想连上帝也会讲输他吧。
不会分是非对错，因为任何时候他都是对的！！！！！
他是人猿时期，同时又是沙文主义的大男人。
老妖怪！！！！！

我倒霉。
被他看上。
你讲！死没有！！！
这一整年，他对我做的事实在是太多了，不能一一尽诉。
就说最近吧。
他之前就一直做一些奇奇怪怪的行为，说一些乱七八糟的话，有什么大小事都对我报告。
我还是对他非常礼貌，待他是个朋友。
但是最近他越来越过分。
到处去宣传他有几喜欢我，有多想做我男朋友。
你可以想象一天有四位不同科系的同学来告诉我他有多好，要我接受他。
妈的，你想用群众压力来逼我就范吗？？？
上课时还传‘爱的字条’给我，让全部人起哄，要我接受他！！！！！
当时，我很想死！！！

我的朋友看不过眼，训了他几句。
告诉他，他是有女朋友的，这样做不是很好。
你知道人渣讲什么吗？？
他说他有权利认识，结交，甚至跟其他女人交往，只要最后懂得回家就是好男人。
听到这种歪理，我无言。
这种用下体思考的男人，凭什么拥有感情！！！！
凭什么让别人去爱他????
他知道他有多伤他女朋友的心吗？？
我好心疼他的女朋友，真是长了狗眼才会认识到他。

我很厉害哦。
照我的性格，我早就杀了他，不会让他活到明天。
但是，我不想为了这些人渣失去我一直培养的气质。
所以我忍。
我一直告诉我自己我是很有教养的，不要跟动物计较。

今天早上，我又收到他的简讯，提醒我记得带这，记得带那。
好像已经登堂入室做了我的男人一样。
本来昏昏欲睡的我，马上清醒得像什么发生一样，可能因为火气冲上脑的关系吧。
我真的很生气。
幸好今天是最后一天，我以后都不会再看到他的死脸。

但是我还是有一点隐忧，因为他也选择了马六甲为他教书的地点。
上帝，请怜悯我这个小小人物，
不要再让我遇见他，我不想无端端做了人家的小三。
无尽感谢，阿门。

my linear life

2011-11-17T05:59:00.001-08:00

After finished all the exams, I still have one course and one interview to go.
Exhausted. I need to run away, but I dunno where to go.
Maybe a trip??

多管闲事

2011-10-14T08:52:00.000-07:00

有时候，我真的不该多管闲事当别人的和事佬。
可能别人缘分尽了，
当不成朋友了，
那就由得他们吧！
不知道自己在那瞎忙什么，累坏我了！

外婆

2011-09-29T07:25:00.000-07:00

外婆进院了。
每回和表妹通电话，她都会忍不住哭出来。
我不知道如何安慰她，就好像我不知道如何安慰自己一样。
我以为大家都不在意外婆的情况，没想到表妹还会为外婆的病情哭泣。
外婆有什么病？
其实不是生病，只是衰老了，身体不听使唤了。

外婆在我的生命里是一位很重要的长辈。
她让我看见一个女人的一生
看见疼爱
看见无助
看见坚强
看见刻苦
看见衰老

我一直有一种错觉，我觉得外婆最疼我了。
因为我最像男生，而她老人家最想有男孙。
所以我也爱外婆多一点。

外婆住在我们家有一年了吧。
在这一年也发生了很多事。
这些事情让我长大不少。

我曾经以为我是一位善良，爱心满满的女孩
一直到我要照一位顾饮食起居有问题的外婆
我才知道我是一个多么丑陋的人

我妈要我帮外婆洗澡的时候，
我的内心是多么地嫌弃
多么不愿意去面对一个年老的胴体
也不知道手应该放在什么位置
就草草了事地冲冲水就算了

一直到时间让我习惯了这一切
我会很仔细地帮外婆洗头
就连洗屁股和私处
也不是一种很新奇的事了
在洗澡间里，我们还会一边洗一边讲冷笑话
外婆也很开心地在玩水
老实说，她真的很爱洗澡耶~

外婆在经历着衰老的同时，也让我学会了成长。
原来我们都会老
原来年老是多么地无助
原来我们都需要爱

朋友，谁想让别人来帮自己洗澡？
他们是没有能力了，无法使力，才需要我们的帮助
如果你家有老人家，请爱他们

生老病死，我们逃不了
但是无论是在地上或天上
我都希望可以遇见你
一不小心我们就天荒地老

阿婆，我很爱很爱你~

你是不是不敢

2011-09-06T21:48:00.000-07:00

你是不是不敢

从小就不敢对别人的要求说不
不敢反对老师说的歪理
不敢看着别人的眼睛
不敢逃学
不敢顶嘴

长大后，
不敢放弃自己不会的化学物理
不敢跟爸爸说不要读自己不喜欢的科系
不敢离开自己不喜欢的工作
不敢对抗自己的老板
然后，不敢离开已经没有感情的伴侣。。。

今天，我不是要指责或贬低不敢说不的人。
只想说在‘不敢’的里头隐藏着许许多多的苦衷。
我们和他们需要多少的勇气和力量把 ‘不’ 吞进肚子里。

但是，生命太短太短了。
朋友，我们今天放轻松一点，深呼吸，做自己想做的，吃自己想吃的，玩自己想玩的

偶尔，出大海畅游一番，遇到大白鲨就躲进自己的龟壳，这样也不错啊^^

我不要变成一颗树

2011-08-23T18:33:00.000-07:00

有一个古老的传说：一个人如果等了一生都没能等到自己要等的人，却又始终不死心放不下，便会化作一棵树，在原地年复一年地等待。得不到爱情，上天便给了她天长地久的永恒。

哈哈，上帝，我可以不要这样吗？我不要变成一颗树。
我宁愿在树下和他偶遇，然后说：“哦，原来你也在这里喔。”

Together we create a beautiful world ^^

2011-08-22T06:55:00.000-07:00

I went to my friend's room and found that she is using a last-century laptop. The keyboard is broken so she brought a portable keyboard to replace it. It is so bulky and inconvenient for me. Then I just asked her, why don't you just buy a new one?
What she said made me feel shameful.
She explained the whole process of how to make a laptop. In a nutshell, she wanted to tell me that the ingredients that they use to make a laptop are undegradable and it is very harmful to the environment. Therefore, if the things that she is using are still functioning, she won't throw it away easily.

I stayed still and looked at her quietly, I suddenly felt that she is very very special. I thought nobody cares about the environment, I mean, who cares?? Who cares if those African children are starving to death and number is hitting 40 billions. Who cares if the Indians in India are selling their kidneys just to get RM2600 to support their family?

We read news everyday and we can just get this info anytime but who really does care about something which is basically not our business? And she made me feel like.....yes, somebody does care and they are doing their parts just to make some minor changes.

I'm so proud to have her as my friend.
And I promise I will definitely think twice twice twice before I throw or buy something. XD

My room

2011-08-15T21:43:00.000-07:00

This might be the first thing that I wanna buy for myself.....a reading room.
This is a nobody-can-enter room.
I will treasure all my stuff in this room.
Spend my afternoon here.
Take my nap here.
Read my books.
Write my first novel here.
Talk to my Father here........

I think my saving is just enough for me to buy a window.....lolz...keep chasing my dream^^

Dream

2011-08-14T18:51:00.000-07:00

Maybe this is just a dream, I've never grown up.
Suddenly the bell rings, I wake up and realise that I just fell asleep in the classroom.
I'm still in 2004.
Yee Hui shouts at me and says :"Hey, wake up la, let's go makan!!"

I am good??

2011-08-11T05:37:00.000-07:00

I don't know why I always get compliments that I don't deserve it. For example, I put little,seriously very little effort to do my teaching plans, but my supervisors, principal and lectures said I did very WELL. I read my teaching plans severe times, but I didn't find anything special in it.

I am good?? I doubt it......I'm getting famous now because of my great teaching plans and the fear is approaching me slowly....

随笔

2011-07-27T06:21:00.000-07:00

有时候，真的很想狠狠的比出这个手指。
那么，所有的不愉快都会云消烟散。
你今天比了吗？

Baby Kimgres

2011-07-06T08:58:00.000-07:00

I went to the celebration of a newborn baby of my friend last week. His name is Kimgres.
Still remember last year December, one day my friend called and told me she was pregnant. she sounded so dead and nervous because this was totally out of her plan.
She didn't know how to tell her parents and felt lost at that time.
It was hard but we all insisted to keep the baby.
Along these few months, full with bittersweet memories. Luckily, they are so strong and help each others and try to build their new family.
When I was holding the baby, wow......it was incredibly amazing. I could touch him and felt his breath. His hands was so small and it looked so fragile. He was so tiny until you couldn't help yourself to hold him tightly and afraid that your every little movement would hurt him.
I'm so proud of my friend and love her so much. I know this will be a new journey in her life.
Life has never been kind to us, so let us hold our hands together and go through it.
Happiness is awaiting us ahead. ^^

厄运

2011-06-27T09:02:00.000-07:00

最近衰事连连，衰到我快顶不顺了！！！

无端端，我的橱被撬开，很多贵重物品被偷了。

朋友叫我忍，父母叫我忍，姐妹叫我忍。。。。连校方也叫我忍。

好不容易找到偷我东西的人，隔着电话，她说：“是我偷的，又怎样？？！！你能奈我何。”

突然间发现，我真的无能为力。就这样眼睁睁地放了那头魔鬼。

隔不久，连新买的雨伞也被偷了。我无语问苍天。

昨天落枕，颈项痛了一天，脸也黑了一天。

吃饭啃到，喝水呛到。

今天还无辜被卷入别人的是非，bullshit man!!!!

我的宿舍已经一个星期制水了，我现在连刷牙也要花钱买矿泉水，洗澡要走到世界的另一个角落才找到水源。

我不知道我得罪谁，我很想死，就现在！！！

我并非无病呻吟，我真的感觉得到厄运正在跟随着我。

人有三衰六旺，如果我明天连走路也会摔跤，那么我的“三衰”应该还没有过完。

“六旺”，姐姐正等着你呢，不要让我久等哦~~~~~

人类就是这么奇怪

2011-06-16T00:38:00.000-07:00

人类就是这么奇怪，如果没有人同情，你就不会在乎伤口有多疼；如果没有人嘲笑，你就不会在乎伤疤有多难看；如果没有人比较，谁会知道什么是前途。——吴淼《塔希里亚故事集 》

Selfish

2011-06-15T02:53:00.000-07:00

Selfish. This is the word that I encountered so much in this month.

A friend was bitching about me and said I'm a selfish person because I didn't take good care of my another friend.

I wasn't angry, seriously.

I personally think that all my friends are able to take good care of themselves. They don't need me all the time.

But I'm just curious, why there are people like to attack me and give 'names' or 'adjectives' on me.

I'm a good person, do you agree? ^^

Words were like poison and I started to doubt myself and reflect on my behaviours. Maybe I was wrong....maybe I'm a selfish evil person.

Until I talked to my sister, she said "Do you know the definition of selfish?"

"You'd been called selfish because you couldn't fulfill their needs."

"If I wanted to borrow your book and you rejected me, then I said you are selfish. Why?? Because you couldn't fulfill what I want."

Haha, my sister is just 20 years old.

I should listen to her and stop judging myself.

I am a hockey player ^^

2011-05-25T03:27:00.000-07:00

Heaven VS Hell

2011-05-17T03:11:00.000-07:00

Back to my 'oven' and realized that I didn't update my blog for a long long time.
Nothing special lately....I was having fun learning how to do bandage and CPR last last week and will be the facilitator in the coming international camp. I hope I did learn well and will be manage to explain to those teenagers who come from other countries.

Practically, I am a hockey player now, will be a professional one soon, I think lah ^^ Why I said so, because we have to learn the skills and techniques for almost 4 hours a week. It is too much for me, therefore, I think I will be an expert soon. Initially, I hate it because I play badminton better.....but now, I LOVE IT. Chasing a hockey ball on the big field has become a way for me to release my stress. And we always create a lot of laughter and jokes on the field.

Went back last week and planned to celebrate Mother's day with my mum but my uncles and aunties came without giving us a hint. So, we all went out to have lunch at Ye Xiang restaurant. My mum didn't want to go celebrate anymore after that as she didn't want to spend so much in a day. Haiz.....somebody screwed up my Mother's Day.

Talking about my aunts, I don't know why they always like to compare their children's result and show off how excellent their are. It is enough if you compare among your children, why do you still want to compare with us, with our friends and our NEIGHBOURS!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was really mad when they asked my sister, "Huh, you are not the top student ah??" "If you are not a top student, why do you still want to aim for 10 As in your SPM?"
Screw you people!!!!!!!!!!!! What's wrong if my sister is not a top student and still want to aim for 10 As. Do you all know that you always put down my sister's confidence every time after your visit??!!!
The most ridiculous thing was she said " If you can't be a doctor, be a lawyer lah!"
WTH.......why do we need to choose either doctor or lawyer?? There is no other occupations on this earth ald??

Of course I know money and status are very very extremely important for you and me to live on this earth, but not all people want to be a doctor or lawyer, ok~ Luckily we all have strong hearts, if not, definitely we would get heart attack after the lunch.

P/S: Opps.....sorry, I din mean to spread the negative aura here but I just couldn't help it ^^ Happy reading~

梦想

2011-04-14T06:42:00.000-07:00

我有一个大大的梦想，很难达成的，需要很多的努力才行。
所以我不敢告诉任何人。
等我实现了再说好吗？
这是一个让我从新有人生目标的梦想。
我要加油，你们也要哦！！！

Is this Your will?

2011-04-11T05:00:00.000-07:00

How many 'loves' have been destroyed by religions and believes?
Two people have over come the problems of race, status and stereotypes. The last challenge is religion. And this defeated two of them, and they became stranger since then.
My Malay friend told me her story today. She fell in love with a orang asli who is a Christian. They struggled so much to come to the end --- marriage. Their Gods stopped them to be together. And they followed their Gods' will.

Suddenly, I understand. We human are not as strong as we thought. We are terribly weak. Religions and believes are the things that we hold so tight in our hand, and we will not let it go so easily even though the person we love the most is standing in front of us.

It is sad, isn't?

Father, is this Your will??

weekly report

2011-03-29T07:29:00.000-07:00

What I was/am doing lately??

1.    I went to Jessie's convo last last week.
2.     shopping and bought myself a skirt and a dress.
3.     doing my assignments and starting to like my job.
4.     mastering my driving skills, but still need some time.
5.     try not to be judgmental.
6.     follow the news in Japan everyday.
7.     hug and hold my grandma's hands before she goes to bed.
8.     Believe in fairy tales.
9. gather with my ji mui.
10.   Be smart.

我的志愿

2011-03-13T22:25:00.000-07:00

当时的我才二年级，看着黑板上的题目，心里已有几个答案。
年纪小小的我在稿纸上写下我的志愿 : 作家。
我的志愿很浪漫吧！小个子的妞并不知道这不是一个志愿，是一个梦想。
在长大的过程中，有老师的称赞，也有同学们的诋毁。
有一位同学跟我讲过：“想当作家哦？？不要发梦啦，你又不是写得很好。”
我忘记当时我是以什么表情去面对这位同学，但是我的心情犹如天堂的水库破洞一样，将我从头到脚都淋湿了，连底裤内衣全湿透了。
被否定的感觉，记忆犹新。
从那天起，我就很少提起笔写作。说穿了，我介意别人的看法。

记得有一次，我将我写的文字贴在我的铁铅笔盒中，被同学翻出来看。事情就发生在几秒中，阻止也阻止不了，他们就看了我的散文。我最讨厌那些路人在没有经过我的同意之下碰我的东西。
可笑的是，我的同学竟然杀出一句：“静娴，这一篇东西你是从哪里抄回来的？”
我将纸抢回来后说："是啊，从报纸上抄回来的。” 事情就这样结束了，而这一次是我否定了自己。

今天，为什么我会突然想起这些无所谓的事呢？我想有时候应该听听自己的声音，在喧哗的人群中找到自己。

It sucks~

2011-03-03T07:01:00.000-08:00

Sometimes it sucks being strong.Because when people know that you are strong, they think that it is okay to hurt you, over and over again.

一个人

2011-02-28T07:42:00.000-08:00

一个人总要走陌生的路，看陌生的风景，听陌生的歌，然后在某个不经意的瞬间，你会发现，原本是费尽心机想要忘记的事情真的就那么忘记了。幸福，不是长生不老，不是大鱼大肉，不是权倾朝野。幸福是每一个微小的生活愿望达成。当你想吃的时候有得吃，想被爱的时候有人来爱你。

当你老了---叶芝

2011-02-23T06:38:00.000-08:00

当你老了，头白了，睡意昏沉，
炉火旁打盹，请取下这部诗歌，
慢读，回想你过去眼神的柔和，
回想它们昔日沉重的阴影。

多少人爱你青春欢畅的时辰，
爱慕你的美丽，假意或真心。

只有一个人爱你那朝圣者的灵魂，
爱你衰老了的脸上痛苦的皱纹。

垂下头来，在红光闪耀的炉子旁，
凄然地轻轻诉说那爱情的消逝，
在头顶的山上它缓缓踱着步子，
在一群星星中间隐藏着脸庞。

P/S: Love this poem~

You can't see sadness from my face~

2011-02-16T06:37:00.000-08:00

Smile is just a face expression, it has nothing to do with happiness~

Questions~

2011-02-14T08:22:00.000-08:00

Muslims are not allowed to celebrate Valentine's Day. I just knew it this morning. I had a small discussion with my Malay friends after class. They said Valentine's Day has some relations with Christianity, therefore, they are not allowed to celebrate it.
Moving on, we once again touched the topic about Jesus. I heard it before but they stressed it once again to me....If I believe that Jesus is my Savior, I will go to hell. Her face expression just so sure and looked as same as when I met Pastor Chin for the first time. He said he is so sorry to tell me that whoever does not believe in Jesus will go to hell.
Before I became a Christian, I didn't care if I were to go to hell because who can guarantee that we will get peace in heaven. Hell or heaven are the same for me.
After three years of learning about Jesus from my friends, I desire more to know about God and would like to meet Him if He allows.
Actually, I feel like I can't do anything to change the situation but only pray. Why they don't believe that He did sacrifice himself for us?? Does hell have bigger space than heaven?? Why we human have problems in explaining what is right or wrong to the others??
Why?
Why?
Why?
I don't wanna answer these questions, this is way too far beyond my intelligence to answer it.
En Yi told me to have faith and actually I have nothing but only simple faith towards God.

Is this too sensitive to be discussed?? Sorry if you think this is sensitive~

Happy Valentine to all~

我忍。。。and stand still

2011-02-10T06:38:00.000-08:00

How come huh one day can happen so many things?? My life just like riding the roller coaster neh......up and down, up and down, and down to hell at the end.
The ceiling fan in my room was not functioning WELL in the past couple of days. And then this morning, danggg...it stopped doing its duty. Ok, fine....I went to the warden's room and see what she could do for me. She said their technicians don't know how to fix this kind of MINOR problem wor....they only know how to fix if there is any BIG thing happen wor....Sweat lor....for them, that broken ceiling fan is minor problem then ask them to sleep in my room la. Ok again, I took her EXPLANATION and asked for room changing. She said she will arrange me to stay at 5th floor. Aunty!!!! Why 5th floor since many empty rooms at 1st floor. I am not looking for a place to commit suicide leh, you don't need to do such a good deed. I really felt wanna cry at that moment because my legs are already injured, and I need to walk 10 minutes to get to my classroom....and now, I need to CRAWL 5 tingkattttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

After my class, I went to see another warden to take the key. When I reached the room, tell you what, the room is even worse. The cupboard is broken and the bed is smelly. And there are some dunno-what insects under the bed. In conclusion, it looks more like a haunted house lor.

Then I decided not to relocate and will buy a standing fan on this weekend. This is the best I can do.

This is just the first part .....but now I'm out of energy, I wanna sleep ald. Talk again next time. Tata.

another day in campus~

2011-02-08T07:14:00.000-08:00

I seldom write my blog like this three times in a week. Probably I am bored.......and want to talk to myself more.
For those people who always visit my blog, sorry ya....keep babbling in these few days.

Today, I had my class from 7.45am until 5.30pm, it was damn tiring.
The lecturers' accent was terrible, very few info got into my brain.
But I still pretended that I understood all, and keep nodding my head.
and after that.....memancing~

Luckily, the coffee is great, the food is also not bad at the cafe.
I had a little chat with the students who are studying music, and they are willing to teach me piano, how excited is it.
God, are they the angels You send to me?? :)

After 5.30pm, I had to go to the field to attend my curriculum --- tennis and baseball
It was quite fun and it spent all my energy in just two hours.

I have left my comfort zone, I feel very very UNCOMFORTABLE and UNEASY now, however, I am very excited and grateful.....because these are the thing that I prayed to get in this year, and now I got it. What I had uttered to God has become true...what I can say....WOW~

Back to campus~

2011-02-07T06:08:00.000-08:00

This evening, I was having my solitary walk in my campus, watching the jogging students and also some people playing tennis in the court. I could only feel the peace when I am alone.
Thinking about my future, I felt many uncertainties are going to happen, the sense of insecurity was coming up to my throat, this feeling really killing me.
I also thought of my mum. I don't why she loves me so much, God also knows I am her most rebellious child but she still loves me. I promise to myself at that moment that I am going to love her more in the coming future.
While I am still in my Chinese New Year mood, the environment once again forces me back into the reality.

Life is life~

12.39am

2011-02-05T08:40:00.000-08:00

I just wanna record this moment.
I wanna say I am happy to be myself, JUST MYSELF.
I hate of being nice, humble, and friendly to those people that I don't like.
Yes!!!!!!!! I am an arrogant, cocky and rude person. I REALLY AM.
I know we need to grow up sometimes and be mature, but I decided not to change until I think it is the time.
Ok, sleep~

My plan and some wishes

2011-02-01T05:39:00.000-08:00

My KU just sent me the timetable and I am so shocked to see the arrangement. The study time is so packed and we also need to go to the tennis court right after the classes....EVERYDAY!!!!!
This is still ok la, still under my expectation. But the sad thing is they will not allow us to leave Malaysia until we finish the course. Mamamia.......I plan to go to Hong Kong or Taiwan with my sister this Jun leh.....I think this time I have no choice loo.....I have to give up my trips...
And my seniors also gave us some PREVIEWS before the school starts. They said we are not going to have extra time for entertainments and need to spend most of the time finishing our assignments. Oh God, this spoils my another plan....I plan to read 25 English books and 25 Chinese books this year. Ok loo....my 2011 will be a NO BOOKS year. NO TRIPS year. NO FUN year.

PARISSSSSS.....wait for me....I will go visit you right after I earn my own money...
I want to visit so many places but my life is so much affected by MONEY....
Takkan I still ask my parents for money at my age...
Be strong, Elyse....you'll be there..

Chinese New Year is coming SOON, there are some people that I will miss in this red season. Jane, Enyi and Ceek Chean..I miss you guys always as usual. I hope the coming year you all will be in a good condition and get the jobs that you all like. Not forget to mention this, hope you all will find your soul mates in this year :) I always believe that good people come with good fortunes.
Miss Esther Chin, welcome back to the blog world, miss you once in while *serious* Although I am not one of the members in the 'corner lot', I miss the laughs and the fun created by you guys. I know your life in the new environment must be very miserable and need guidance sometimes. Maybe we are not besides you but God always do. Believe in Him and yourself, I think you'll not feel lonely along the path.
Adeline, we seldom talked but I know so many things about you through your blog. So, I consider myself as your close friend in the blog world. Quite worry about you after I read your recent posts. I have never experienced that before but the feeling of almost losing of our live must be very painful and frightening. I can't do anything but can only give you supports here and pray for you. Hope you can also celebrate Chinese New Year during your hard time.

P/S: The raining days make me sick :(

Exam Fever

2011-01-29T00:02:00.000-08:00

Exam is something we cannot avoid in our life. But for me, exam is one kind of humiliation to human beings. Just like I tell my teachers or lecturers that I have studied and understood every theories, but they just don't believe you and take out a piece of paper and want you to prove it.

One day trip to Mid Valley

2011-01-10T22:52:00.000-08:00

It has been a while I didn't go back to PJ.
Last week, we had our ji mui gathering at Mid Valley.
I planned to take a lot of pictures but ended up with only 4 pictures.
Whyyyyy?? Because we were too busy doing our shopping and I also forgot to press the camera button.
Anyway, just share those pictures with you guys la~

We were on our way to KL. The weather was fine.

We had our lunch at Sushi TEI. I didn't try the sushi because you know, I just don't like it. I ordered Ramen.

You see, their face were not so friendly at that time because they were so famished and had no mood to take picture. Haha

Yik Hong and I. She was late that day......but still look marvelous~

Roman Holiday

2011-01-02T20:36:00.000-08:00

I just watched the movie 'Roman Holiday'. This is my first black&white movie.

I had been searching for this movie for a while but still couldn't find it. My friend knew about this and downloaded it for me. Sweet....thank you >.< (And I wanna tell you that actually I found it too on PPS)

I fell in love with her performance in 'My Fair Lady' and would like to see her act in 'Roman Holiday' which is the movie she won her first Best Actress Oscar. She is the princess --- Audrey Hepburn.

To tell you the story, I shall let you read the review of the movie.

Roman Holiday (1953) is a delightful, captivating fairy-tale romance shot entirely on location in Rome, and produced and directed by one of Hollywood's most skillful, distinguished, professional and eminent directors - William Wyler.

The film's bittersweet story is a charming romantic-comedy, a kind of Cinderella tale in reverse (with an April-October romance). A runaway princess (Hepburn) rebels against her royal obligations and escapes the insulated confines of her royal prison to find a 'Prince Charming' commoner - an American reporter (Peck) covering the royal tour in Rome. The story was reportedly based on the real-life Italian adventures of British Princess Margaret.

From this movie, I saw not only the romance of the story but also the society at that time.

People were so naive and willing to take a stranger to stay at their home.

And I also found that there were not many tourists in Rome but most of them were locals.

With only 1.5US dollars, the princess could have a hair cut and an ice-cream. Things were so cheap at that time.

The media must be very lousy because the people there did not even recognize the princess when she was walking freely on the street.

And also not many cars and many people were still traveling by bicycle. The air must be fresh due to less pollution.

Firstly, I thought black&white movies must be very boring but this movie is quite interesting. And surprisingly, there is no Hollywood-happy-ending in this movie and leave some regrets to the audiences. That is the part I like--- realistic.

癞蛤蟆想吃天鹅肉

2010-12-31T04:50:00.000-08:00

知道什么是癞蛤蟆想吃天鹅肉吗？

基本上就是说，一个条件极差的人想得到一些美好的事，然而当事人并没有察觉自己是没有资格得到天鹅的。

当然，每一个人都觉得自己是天鹅，每一个人都觉得自己应该拥有更好的。

除了自己，其他人都是癞蛤蟆。

我称这些人为 ‘自以为是天鹅症候群’。

我以前也是有这种病，现在医好了。

我也曾是一只自视过高的天鹅，觉得其他人都是癞蛤蟆。

殊不知，我也是一只癞蛤蟆，还是一只把嘴巴张得很大的癞蛤蟆。

自从病好后，我就是一只癞蛤蟆。

我要用癞蛤蟆的眼睛去看这个世界。

我唯一跟其他癞蛤蟆的分别就是。。。。。我是一只自视过高的癞蛤蟆，不是任何天鹅肉我都放进嘴里的。

《天使爱美丽》

2010-12-16T19:23:00.000-08:00

有谁不曾为那暗恋而痛苦？我们总以为那份痴情很重，很重，是世上最重的重量。有一天，暮然回首，我们才发现，它一直都是很轻，很轻的。我们以为爱的很深，很深，来日岁月，会让你知道，它不过很浅，很浅。最深和最重的爱，必须和时日一起成长。——《天使爱美丽》
Is there anyone who hasn't suffered for the secret love? We always think that love is very heavy, heavy and could be the heaviest thing in the world. But one day, when you look back, you suddenly realize that it's always light, light. We all thought love was very deep, but in fact it's very thin. The deepest and heaviest love must grow up with the time. ---- < Amelie >

Finished an interview

2010-12-16T04:36:00.000-08:00

Phew....just finished the most important interview KPLI but the results will be released after a month.
Basically, I think I was doing good. When they asked me questions, I answered them calmly. When they wanted me to write an article, I crapped reasonably. When we were having group discussion, I gave educated point of views.

If I got this, I am going to pursue my Master before my brain is dead. Actually, I don't need to trouble myself by studying that much but it is necessary to get this Master cert to build my self-esteem wall. You say I am silly...yes, you are right.....I am the dumbest person on earth who is going to get the Master toilet paper and stuck it into those mouths who are looking down on me.

Ok, I am done here. I will keep other negative stuff to myself.

P/S: Wow, now u can leave me a comment here, excited huh~

很闲~

2010-12-01T08:07:00.000-08:00

如果世界没有天空，我要对着什么发呆？

最后一天

2010-11-16T04:49:00.000-08:00

今天是我在学校最后一天上课，我的心情并没有我想象中兴奋和愉快，也没有觉得不舍，只是觉得完成了一项任务。
无可否认的，我也学习了蛮多的，无论是从其他老师或学生身上。
我终于熬过了，我觉得我还蛮厉害的。请神赋于我力量，因为我又要踏出下一步了。

香格里拉

2010-11-10T22:50:00.000-08:00

香格里拉是1933年英国著名小说家詹姆斯. 希尔顿在小说《消失的地平线》中所描绘的一个永恒，和平，宁静的地方。
那里，一片绝尘静域，神奇得让人一见倾心。
顾名思义就是人间天堂咯。
有人说希尔顿笔下的香格里拉在喜玛拉雅山的山脚；也有人说是中国的西藏。
两者我都没到过，所以没办法体会当中的美好。
但是，我相信地球上总有一些未被人类摧毁的净土。

我也想找到一个让我心旷神怡的人间天堂，我想应该很容易找到吧~本人对于美好的事物并没有设下很高的要求。
等我攒够了银两，我就去寻找属于我的香格里拉~>.<

请给我一点点。。。

2010-10-28T06:52:00.000-07:00

我又在倒数了，倒数什么时候这一切会结束。原来工作真的会让一个人疯掉，尤其是你不喜欢这份工作。我尽量不要埋怨，不要投诉，把自己的感觉往口里塞，然后用万能胶封上来。
把自己困在自己的牢里其实很寂寞的，又不能跟别人分享，感觉就好像踩到牛屎一样。。。无言~
那么，在自己的部落格叹气一下总可以吧~

每次逃到没有后路的时候，还好可以回到这里，这里好安全，好安静，只有少数人会来关心我的部落格，会读中文的朋友更少，所以这里是我最好的避风港。

我是一个可怜虫
可怜虫需要一点勇气
只要一点勇气就够了
真的一点就够了~

P/S：我很想发出正面能量，但是没办法，最近很负面~

活过来了~

2010-10-21T05:49:00.000-07:00

从吉隆坡回来已有几天了，感觉又回来了，可能是看了三部戏的关系吧！

连我妹妹看见我都说，我好想活过来了，之前好像一个死人一样。

哈哈~可能是吧！还好有美玉陪我说说话，有些东西我终于想通了，我会好好地规划我的未来的，你们不用担心。

我一直在想，身边的人总是想看我什么时候跌倒，什么时候失败，然后出现嘲笑我。但是我错了，真心朋友是不会的，因为他们看见我幸福，他们也会为我感到高兴。

P/S：有了新的爱好，就是收集故事~

One afternoon

2010-10-13T07:26:00.000-07:00

I had donated some of my clothes to an organization this afternoon. Like my grandmother said, we never offer anything to anybody in the world but we took an awful lot. So, it is about time to give back some.
After work, I have ample time to sort out all my old clothes and I found something interesting in my closet. My mum said, I should give out some nice and decent clothes to those children but not those frumpy clothes, so, I was having a tough time to decide which one is decent and which one is 'frumpy' .
Hahaha....talking about the interesting stuff in my closet....I found some clothes that I used to wear when I was in Form 5. Those are really ugly, old fashioned and frayed jeans.....and also some T-shirts which have already gone out of style....urggghhhh......why I didn't take care of my appearance in those golden age, no wonder nobody courted me that time....haiz
Moving on, if you still remember, Yik Hong designed a T-shirt for English Math Science society.....it is my favourite all the time. But it has become yellowish and unwearable now. Anyone is still keeping that shirt?? We have a lot of good memories there.
Besides that, my Temenggung and Jaguar T-shirts....it reminded me that we were always the loser in the sport days. Aisskkk....How much I wish we could get the champion for just one year. We lost the championship for 4 years continuously. Sad. Better delete this awful memory by throwing the T-shirts.
And you know, I have many jackets and sweaters. I donated half of them so I can get some new one....Hehe...still have evil intention in my good deed. I also helped my sister to give out some T-shirts, everybody knows she is a shopaholic. >.<
Good news......I also can get some news jeans now because I lost weight, I think 3kg. I have been jogging for some time, it is time to see the result of my effort. Bulge, please go away, I don't need you in my life...haha
With the sun streaming into my room, I was having a good time with all my clothes.

P/S: My mood is green colour today.

Let me decide~

2010-10-04T05:49:00.000-07:00

I was sending resume out today. I hope I will get some good news soon. Erm.....I don't care anymore, just hand everything to God, and see what happen ahead.
People are giving advices to me all these days. I am sick of it already. I want to decide on my own, so please don't force me to accept any of those experience talks already. Because if I never try, I will never know. If you say I will regret in the future, then let me regret.
Maybe regrets gives my life curves but not horizontal lines.

25 Little Things That You Don't Need To Know About Me~

2010-09-29T05:06:00.000-07:00

After I read Liu Xuan's book, I decided to have my own list too----25 little things that you don't need to know about me. Just like Liu Xuan said, the least important things actually are those important details that we used to miss it. I cracked my brain and came out with this list. Enjoy it but don't feel bored because they are really unimportant.

I like when my friends call me Xian. It sounds like we are family more than friends. My uncles and aunties like to call me Xian Xian. I always complain about this because I don’t want them to treat me like a kid. However, I still feel warm every time I hear them call me Xian Xian.
I keep all the letters and cards that my friends sent me. I keep them well in a box. I will take it out to refresh my memory when I feel bored. Therefore, sometimes my mum worries when I smile or laugh alone in my room.
Talking about letters, I think the most romantic job in this world is postman. Postmen are just like angels because they have changed people’s life indirectly. But after all the emails, messages, facebook and msn, postmen are not very important in most of the societies. It is sad because the new generation is not going to have chance to feel the warmth of the letters.
I think I am rather smart because when I read, I totally understand what the writers are trying to say. And my friends always need me to re-explain the content of a book every time we read. But there is one book that I really don’t quite get it. The book is bible. I feel stupid when I read bible. Even I have pastors and friends to explain to me when I am in a total confusion. I talked to my Father personally but as usual He didn’t answer. So, just pretend I understand and take all the official explanations.
My friends said women need to know how to tackle alcohol. She asked me to try and learn how to drink alcohol. I know we need to know how to drink or ‘sip’ alcohol when we socialize in the future. But my body cannot take any foods or liquids which is BITTER. If alcohol tastes like Rebena, maybe I will shout: “Come! A glass of gin and tonic!”
I bought a sketch book last year and hope to draw something when I am free. Until now, my sketch book is still very clean and stays smartly on the shelf. I think it is time to buy some crayons. Haha~
My sister bought an English book for O Level. The title of the book is ‘Mastering Tough Vocabulary’. I laughed at my sister and started flipping over the book. Eventually, I spent the whole evening reading the book. Those vocabs are truly TOUGH. It was very challenging, I like it.^^
I am really scared of cold.

My father is happy because he does not need to buy me an air-con.

Sweaters and jackets are always in my shopping list.

If I forget to bring sweater to cinema, I will curse myself.

My friends say I am insane because I have two blankets on my bed.

Thank God, I am living in Malaysia.

Every time before I go out, I will remind myself to bring recycle bag. I am not a politician who can help or improve the environment, but at least I reduce the chances of creating so many burdens to the earth.
When I was in secondary school, I subscribed a monthly high school magazine called “Zhong Xue Sheng”. I like it so much and I keep all of them in a special box (actually I have many boxes). But last time, when we decided to relocate some of our belongings to our shop, mum threw all my magazines away. I gone crazy and decided to go back to the land field and looked for my magazines. Luckily with my sister’s help, my magazines were saved. Mum, please don’t throw away my memory, they are way too important than my clothes. If you want to throw something, please go to my closet.
Talking about my boxes, I also keep my Form Six Chemistry notes in it. My chemistry was not very good but I liked Chemistry class very much. In Mrs Lai’s class, chemistry is no longer just the symbol H2O but it is about life. We can smell, touch and see life through knowing more about chemistry. Since then, I see myself as a person who knows life but not an exam machine. For me, she is not a teacher, she is a scientist.
I remember since last time I did not sleep well for few days just to finish my assignments, it caused me a very serious period pain. This seldom happens to me, but I think because of those stressful days, period pain came to knock my door. I went to the pharmacy to buy some painkiller. The pharmacist advised me not to take too much pills because it will cause some side effects. I told him this seldom happened and I promised just to take one. If the pain still continue, I will just let it be. But he still stood there and blah blah blah….

Then I asked him: “xiao di di, do you know what period pain is?”

He kept quiet. Then I continued.

“Period pain is just like thousands of elephants step over my stomach.”

“So, give me the pills.”

He stunned for a while and gave me the pills and kept the money.

I feel sorry for him but he should understand it was not my fault, it was hormone’s fault.

I like junk food. But since last time Ceek Chean gave me an “organic food lesson” in the supermarket, I think twice before I buy any junk food.
I don’t like to do chores. But once again, after went to Pulau Redang with Ceek Chean, I changed my habit. I clean my room at least two times a week.
Ceek Chean is a mean old hag. Blek.^^
I brush my teeth before I wash my face. You want me to change the order? NO WAY.
My favorite lecturer is Dr. Carmen. I hope I have a sister like her to teach me how to think critically and write academically.
My left foot is bigger than my right foot. Therefore, sometimes I just hate wearing heels. It is too excruciating seeing one of my foot staying in the heel which is not its size.
I don’t look down on people who look down on me. I look down on those people who look down themselves.
If I have extra time and money, I would like to learn sewing and patchwork. Somehow, I think I have the talent.
I went back to my high school last week and saw the painting that we drew on the wall when we were in Form Six. I remember Pei San drew that black-green coconut tree……Haha… How good it is if all of us just don’t grow up.
A chef looks more charming than a musician. (For me ^^)
Although sometimes my uncles, aunties and mum say something bad about my grandfather, I think he is the most caring and thoughtful person in my life. No matter what they say, I respect you grandpa as a hero deep in my heart.
My sister told me to have a saving plan from now on and I am actually doing it now. I hope I can buy my own house in the coming future. >< So Excited!!
Finally and lastly, this is the least important and you really don’t need to know about it-----I love my family and friends.

Love At First Sight 一见钟情

2010-09-27T07:15:00.000-07:00

they're both convinced
that a sudden passion joined them.
such certainty is more beautiful,
but uncertainty is more beautiful still.

since they'd never met before, they're sure
that there'd been nothing between them.
but what's the word from the streets, staircases, hallways--
perhaps they've passed by each other a million times?

i want to ask them
if they don't remember--
a moment face to face
in some revolving door?
perhaps a "sorry" muttered in a crowd?
a curt "wrong number"caught in the receiver?--
but i know the answer.
no, they don't remember.

they'd be amazed to hear
that chance has been toying with them
now for years.

not quite ready yet
to become their destiny,
it pushed them close, drove them apart,
it barred their path,
stifling a laugh,
and then leaped aside.

there were signs and signals,
even if they couldn't read them yet.
perhaps three years ago
or just last tuesday
a certain leaf fluttered
from one shoulder to another?
something was dropped and then picked up.
who knows, maybe the ball that vanished
into childhood's thicket?

there were doorknobs and doorbells
where one touch had covered another
beforehand.
suitcases checked and standing side by side.
one night. perhaps, the same dream,
grown hazy by morning.

every beginning
is only a sequel, after all,
and the book of events
is always open halfway through.

一见钟情

他们彼此深信
是瞬间迸发的热情让他们相遇
这样的确定是美丽的
但变幻无常更为美丽
他们素未谋面
所以他们确定彼此并无任何瓜葛
但是自街道、楼梯、大堂
传来的话语......
他们也许擦肩而过100万次了吧
我想问他们是否记得
在旋转门面对面那一刹
或是在人群中喃喃道出的对不起
或是在电话的另一端道出的打错了
但是我早知道答案
是的
他们并不记得
他们会很讶异
原来缘分已经戏弄他们多年
时机尚未成熟
变成他们的命运
缘分
将他们推进
距离
阻挡他们的去路
忍住笑声
然后闪到一旁

P/S: I read this from my MSN space, still love this poem very much, so I repost it~ Hope u guys like it too~

一场美梦

2010-09-26T07:59:00.000-07:00

人际关系越变越复杂，
跟童年的 [不要跟你好]
形成了强烈的对比，
于是我不能不开始怀疑，
小时候与朋友的相爱，
还有热诚相待，
真是一场美梦。

Wish you happy always~

2010-09-23T05:39:00.000-07:00

One of my friends walked into marriage last two months. I called to say congratulations.

She told me she was a bit nervous because she did not want to end her single life like this.

She afraid her boyfriend is not her ultimate Mr. Right.

However, her boyfriend's parents would like them to marry as quickly as possible.

His parents want to see their grandchildren before they are dead.

It is kind of weird to hear this. Hello, now is 21st century already, why these old people never give up to force their children producing babies.

Her husband did not know that she had been avoiding conception.

After she married, her husband was so keen to populate the planet as soon as possible. I laughed when I heard this, sorry^^

I did not know how to give comments on this issue, so I tried my best to let her feel that she was exactly at the right position now.

Yesterday, I received a call from her again. She said she is so happy since she married to XX.

I truly can feel her excitement and happiness through her voice.

I am so glad that she finally got what she wants.

This shows that marriage is not necessary a grave to everyone.

Hahaha, I know somebody is broody now.

Wish you happy happy always.

He is a good guy, don't miss it.~

总要有一个人出来当坏人，那就让我当吧！

2010-09-03T08:13:00.000-07:00

你看过一种人吗？
他想尽办法讨好别人
他想所有人都赞同他
他利用他聪明的脑筋和费尽唇舌
说是非和投诉是他的强项
流眼泪更是他的必杀技
演技一流不在话下
是人是鬼，傻傻分不清楚

可能他并没有那么可恶
这些都是我主观的想法

但是我在他身上只是看到这些而已！！

同情他吧！！他看起来就是如此的可怜！！！！

总要有一个人出来当坏人，那就让我当吧！！

我不想当绵羊

你知道吗？

2010-09-01T06:56:00.000-07:00

我快撑不住了，我需要勇气，很大很大的勇气！！！！！！！！！！！
我就快要脑死了，快来救我出深渊吧！！！！！

这几天胸口都是闷闷的，有说不出闷气。
今天下午有轻微地中暑了一下。
看着书，字又进不到脑。
脾气又暴躁，很想找人来骂骂。
又没有心情保养皮肤。
很讨厌啊！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

我不知道我要什么，正在找什么。。。为什么人生那么不顺的？？！！
你知道吗？

Do not stand at my grave and weep

2010-08-27T22:07:00.000-07:00

If you follow the news on the death of nine tourists in Manila, I think you might have the same feeling as I....heartbroken. People from Hong Kong and China are extremely angry at the way Philippines handling this case. They are stupid and brainless. And their unplanned action resulted the death of the tourists.

The former policeman became a kidnapper and hijacked a bus full of tourists??!! How ridiculous is that!!! Moreover, he was removed by the police in January on charges of extortion and threatening drug dealers. He demanded so he could be reinstated in the police in exchange for the tourists' release.
How on earth this kind of stupid drama could ever happen??!!

Nine passengers have been killed and six injured.
Four broken families.
A husband sacrificed himself in protecting his wife.
Two children lost their parents.

When I become speechless?? Ya, when these things happen, I become speechless.
..............................................................................

All of all, it reminds me a poem.

Do not stand at my grave and weep,

I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am in a thousand winds that blow,

I am the softly falling snow.

I am the gentle showers of rain,

I am the fields of ripening grain.

I am in the morning hush,

I am in the graceful rush

Of beautiful birds in circling flight,

I am the starshine of the night.

I am in the flowers that bloom,

I am in a quiet room.

I am in the birds that sing,

I am in each lovely thing.

Do not stand at my grave and cry,

I am not there. I do not die.

If I were their friends, I don't know what to say to comfort them, so I dedicate this poem to them.
If I were one of them, I will never laugh again in my life. I will definitely be sent to the mental hospital and live like a living corpse.
I have no ideas how other people can go through this kind of disaster.
Nothing could bring them back together anymore. Even God.
I hope the people around them will give them strength and help them to become stronger in the coming days.
Just like what the poem said, they do not die and they are living in their heart forever and ever.

But still, heartbroken.

Guests in my life

2010-08-25T07:58:00.000-07:00

After my graduation, I headed to Seremban to find my cousins. Along the journey, many things flashed over my mind. Mr.Paul lectures, critical thinking classes, Ms. Yoges, assignments, course mates, PC foods, before Jaya One was built, church mates, Jesus Christ, roommates and etc. I was so quiet and sitting there seeing the view outside the train, just like my memory, moving very fast and unreachable.

I hate to say goodbye. Although the relationships among our course mates are not very close but having them in my life just like breathing, you don’t feel it but it is very important.

I know definitely I will keep in touch with some of them like Jane, Ceek Chean, Enyi, Vinu, Kung, Darren and King. But the others….unlikely. When I looked into YZ’s eyes and said ‘Keep In Touch’, I know that would be the last word that I ever said to her. Pity human, pity friendship and pity me. I am trying so hard to catch the bond that holding us together but finally it was broken. Maybe we just need to let some of our ‘guests’ to move on in our life.

Maybe we are not going to meet in the future but anyway I want to say thank you for leaving your footsteps in my heart. Much appreciated.

医生的劝告

2010-07-30T08:38:00.000-07:00

今天去了一趟诊所，是为了当临教而去做的身体检查。
平时爸爸总会陪在身边，今天是我一个人去。
我当然会趁着这个机会问医生一些问题啦（爸爸在场我不好意思问）。
我问了关于我家族遗传病的问题。我想知道我可不可以避过这一劫。
医生说：
“你一定要保持体重，因为肥胖很容易引起糖尿病和高血压，尤其是你有这个遗传。”
“从现在培养吃有机食物，养成吃清淡的食物，那么老的时候就不用戒口了。”
“吃少油，少糖，少盐。”
。
。
。
。
。
。
。

“以后选老公的时候就避免有跟你一样遗传病的，以免后代受苦。”

哈哈，医生说着说着就越来越奇怪了，开始他恋爱专家的伟大言论。让我继续。。。

“选老公不用选长得好看的，反正老了大家都一样。”
（如果每一人都像你这样想，整容生意就不会那么发达啦！）

“最好不要迟婚，如果有了糖尿病才怀孕就麻烦了，不能吃药，只能打针。”
（点头点头）

“所以要早一点选男朋友。”
（我的样很像没有男朋友么？？）

“最重要就是人格，疼你就可以啦!”
“不要等缘分到，要自己制造机会，看准一个就出招。”
（哈哈，经典，我要笑翻了，但是还很同意）

“最好就是这两年生啦！”
（笑翻了。。。）
。
。
。
最后，
“选男子最重要就是人格和gene。”
“如果看中了，就骗他去验身。”
（我已经笑死了）

From what he said, I got a very important message which is 'create your own opportunity but not waiting for the destiny'.

Some of my new friends

2010-07-28T05:53:00.000-07:00

I have got close to some of my colleagues. One of them is my senior in secondary school. She is fun and talkative. Life in the jungle has been very hard for me because it is kind of boring. With her presence, just like seeing light in the darkness. She is a graduand of Science in UPM (if I am not mistaken) and hope to become a teacher in the future. She worked in Singapore before and really liked the environment there. But her health did not allow her to live in such a hectic city, therefore, she came back and took her father's advice to become a teacher. Well, so far, I found she is good teacher with full of patience and caring...not like me^^

Another teacher was my father's student. My father taught him when he was 13 years old in 1980.....so you can guess his age lah...lol...
He is also a funny character in our school. He is a bachelor and still looking for his girl, therefore, he always becomes the target if there is any conversation related to late marriage, love experience, boy friends and etc....
My opinion to this uncle is...go out to see the world lah. He should not teach there over 10 years because he will never meet his girl in a jungle....come on...

Some more, working in a jungle is like working in a isolated place. You are not going to have chance to take new challenges or socialise with different people. Your mindset will stop at the place before you entered the jungle. Believe me, your brain will not grow if you refuse to take any pressure. His excuse of staying there more than 10 years is he could not take the pressure in the city and sick of the hypocrites in other industries.
Well, I think people should not say the 80's babies cannot handle pressure nowsadays, old generation people also cannot tahan. One word, weak!!
Anyway, I do learn a lot from his experiences.

I am still observing other teachers there, maybe I will have more stories to tell. Stay tuned^^

I post this picture because I think I am living a retired life now.

P/S: jogging and eating healthy food everyday, hope to see a pretty me soon.*-*

Teacher's life

2010-07-08T06:25:00.000-07:00

Had been cooped up in the room for all day, searching for some useful information for my students. Huh! I really sacrificed a lot for my lovely students. Just rustle up some lunch then face the computer for more than 4 hours.

After printed out all the exercises, felt a sense of accomplishment.But think ahead, that was the only thing that I can do for them. They are rather poor and living in a bad condition, at least for me, it is really bad. However, when you see the smile on their face, you would never think that actually they are poor people but wealthy people with overloaded love in their heart.

I think this will be the most memorable two months in my life, I will treasure it for sure. Working in the jungle is not a joke, some more with low pay at the begining. Maybe my Lord wants me to experience something very special with these angels. Experience with frogs, insects and unexpectable creatures.

A good news for myself is I don't need to spent the entire day just futzing around in my house but go out and have some contributions to some people.

发现~

2010-07-07T07:39:00.000-07:00

Jane 叫我报告我的生活，所以我又回来了。
上次去了上海，本来有满肚子的感想想要分享的，但是现在又不想讲了。
女人嘛，就是善变。

前途茫茫啊。。。总觉得自己会一事无成。
爸爸最近讲了一些很难听的话，让我十分心痛。
但是我从来不会因为别人的话而觉得自己是个无用的人，就算是我爸爸也是一样。
我是一个有价值的人，起码在天父心中，我是如此地与众不同。

中庸。
我的人生应该可以用这个字来形容。
尽管我渴望着灿烂的烟火，但是我的生活就是起不了一点涟漪。
中庸的我。
中庸的成绩。
中庸的生活环境。
就连样貌也是中庸的。

分享一段文字吧！

“可不可以有一个人，可以看穿我的逞强，可以保护我的脆弱。他会在我的眼泪掉下以前，就用大大的手掌捂住我的眼睛，轻声说我的眼睛只有微笑的时候才是最好看。------ 他会在我受到委屈的时候把我的脑袋按在他的肩膀上，告诉我在他的面前永远都不需要伪装坚强，告诉我就算所有的人都不相信你你都还有我。”

看到这段文字，马上就有答案了。
“有！我慈爱的天父！”
当然，如果您把亚当送给我就最好啦~嘻嘻！！

读后感~

2010-06-02T05:13:00.000-07:00

最近就是无聊，自从我的手提电脑不见之后，就一直提不起劲来。
现在总算平静下来了，谢谢我的朋友，你们是最棒的！！！！
我明白所有的东西都是上帝创造的，然后赐给我的。
你这个死小偷竟敢偷我的东西，我一定一定一定会在上帝面前煮重你的米，你死定了！！！

最近发现了一些明星的微博，看了一些文章，还不错的。
这段文字是在康永的微博看到的，觉得很有意思。
他说：

15岁觉得游泳难，放弃游泳，到18岁遇到一个你喜欢的人约你去游泳，你只好说“我不会耶”。18岁觉得英文难，放弃英文，28岁出现一个很棒但要会英文的工作，你只好说“我不会耶”。人生前期越嫌麻烦，越懒得学，后来就越可能错过让你动心的人和事，错过新风景。~ ~ ~《康永，给残酷社会的善意短信》

有一点感触，因为我似乎错过了很多。
比如，觉得钢琴很难，就不学了。长大之后才发现钢琴也是魅力加分的一种方法。
每每看到别人在弹钢琴，手指就会不知觉得舞动，羡慕极那些手指舞者。
我想这就是康永所说的新风景，一个我永远都进入不了的新风景。

还好我对英文还算有一点坚持，算对得起自己^^ 。
我还蛮希望语文能带我到更远更远的地方，期待更美好的未来~

Ciao~

2010-05-21T08:40:00.000-07:00

Today I have deleted a person in my facebook.
What a relief!!
I am really proud of myself because I always do what I want to do and do I want I need to do.
I hate to care about your feeling and let my heart feel painful all these time.

I just don't like you.
Although you might be very smart and outstanding for other people,
in my world, you are not approved to stay.
Go out from my world and I hope you may rest in peace.

Yeah...........................

P/S: just want to record this day. Don't need to care much about this person, she is just a small chapter in my life.^^

Another Day

2010-05-19T08:01:00.000-07:00

I am moldy.

I did nothing today.

My brain is dying.

I want to go back to campus.

Even you want me to sit in Mr. Paul's class.

There was no input for the past few days.

I don't want to have these kind of meaningless life anymore.

Surpringly, even cinema also could not attract me anymore.

Darn.....!!

Maybe I need a friend or a book.

Yea..... I need a friend.

Then, that means I have to go back loo.

P/S: Question to myself : why I don't have any friends in PJ??

Answer to myself : Because this is the result of your bloody hell anti-social attitude.=(

If Love -- Khalil Fong

2010-05-17T10:29:00.000-07:00

Lately, I fall in love with Khalil Fong's songs. One of my favourites is 'If Love' (如果爱)
The lyrics was written by Khalil and my idol Vivian Hsu. They are so talented in composing music and lyrics. I can say it loudly here to Vivian : "You are more than the dress and the voice!!!"
Sharing Time

* 如果爱没有那么烦我不会吃不下晚饭
也不会多么的堕落如果你说你爱我
如果爱可以很简单我也不会有这么乱
整个世界在转          你或许可以说你爱我吗
地图有东南西北      爱情却不是绝对
跑很远累不累   1+1不是2 虾米！无解的逻辑
我不问完美是什么怀疑是什么
明天你是什么          不后悔

repeat*

黑夜有了你更美   让人自愿变傀儡
月憔悴看不见我要爬上一座天梯摘星星给你
我不管完美是什么唯一是什么
明天我是什么        无所谓

P/S: I wanted to translate it but somehow it has become very weird after I have translated some of the lyrics.
In general, it means if love is simple, then I don't need to think so much, I will love you no matter what happen^^

Sikit comments~

2010-05-17T10:00:00.000-07:00

I feel so good today because God answered my prayer. I think I will have my smiling face day and night for the whole week. What I prayed for?? hehe...I want to keep it for myself. But there is a point here, God does answer prayers. ^^
Last week, my friends have some arguments and the situation is getting worse. Erm...what to say. Actually I have no rights to give any comments to their arguments because both of them have their reasonable reasons. Well, this is our growing proccess, I hope they do learn something from this. This happening keeps remind me the idiom--"Never judge a book by its cover". I learned this long long ago, I always keep this in mind. However, many people seem like never learn any lesson from this idiom because the 'covers' are well printed.
Yea. Talking about reflection, when you come out with many many excuses and reasons to defend yourself, have you ever thought of your misdeeds?? Maybe you need to take some responsiblity in this arguments. Or you actually knew everything but you refuse to admit it?? I don't know, only you know it. Maybe you are too busy to protect your perfect image in front of people, therefore you have no time for REFLECTION.

aiya....I should not be busy body and gave so many comments here....haha
But, you know..they are my friends, I did this for love.

P/S: God, I know the answer now but the answer gave me brokeness. Please mend my heart as soon as possible. Sometimes, Your answers give me tears and happiness together, so fan nao~

家中的日子

2010-04-24T07:09:00.000-07:00

回家几天了，尽做些无聊事，但是还真是很快乐。
帮忙做了些家务，流了一身汗，感觉好像又复活了。
傍晚的时候，站在屋后吹着凉凉的风，好像小时候无忧无虑的我。
吃完晚饭，在厨房洗碗，还要和蚊子搏斗，真是讨厌这些不死生物。
遇见一位久违的同学，她的孩子已经四岁了，她看起来好像三十岁，
原来摧人的不只是岁月，还有生活。
和我的姐妹小聚一会儿，庆幸自己还有朋友。
每天晚上都看电视，发现我还是家中的电视王，哈哈=)

P/S: 虽然决定忘记他，但是还是舍不得，所以继续想念～

My father ^.^

2010-04-17T11:05:00.000-07:00

今天爸妈来找我和姐姐吃饭，顺便把我的杂物搬回去。

吃完饭后，爸爸问我：“你等下要不要买水果？”
我把脸扳过去假装没听到，因为我是非常懒惰切水果的，所以一向都不买水果。
妈妈看到我的反应，就说: "她的字典里面没有这个字，所以你看她没有反应."
爸爸就说：“你平时没有吃水果的么？”
我说：“我在直凉的时候也没吃啊，除非你切给我吃。”
爸爸说：“你看你的皮肤不美了。”
我说：“你吃水果，但是你的皮肤也没我的美啊。”
哈哈哈哈哈。。。。

爸妈送我到家的时候，我想回刚才那一席话，突然惊觉没有爸爸照顾的我竟是如此地不会照顾自己的生活。
我以前的生活，无论从小事到大事，都是爸爸张罗的。
爸爸要烧菜，洗衣，折衣，买日常用品，电灯泡，水电费。。。。连我们的白凤丸他都要理。
我们整屋子的女人就像末代皇帝一样等爸爸来服侍我们，当然包括我妈妈。

爸爸, 临睡前我将你放入祷告, 希望你健健康康, 妈妈你也是。

我爱你们！！！

我变了~

2010-04-16T10:56:00.000-07:00

现在是一点四十二分，听着陶子的‘我变了’。
我喜欢里面的一段词，
“我变了碰到你什么都对了，
爱上你下雨也快乐，
我变了碰到你什么都好了，
爱上你哭泣也值得”

发疯地爱上一个人就是这种感觉，
你并没有发现自己变了，
只是在时过境迁以后，
你才发现自己已经不再是自己了。

下雨也快乐，
哭泣也值得，
我还想加多一句，
‘思念也变得美丽’。

以前我不会三更半夜坐在这里想念一个人，
不会这么傻，
不会失眠，
不会让我的智商变零蛋，

原来，我变了~

Alice or Elyse???

2010-03-19T07:42:00.000-07:00

If you know me, if you are my old old friend, maybe you would know my first English name.

Yup....bingo.....my name was Alice.
This name was suggested by my friend because she saw me always ran and ran around in school helping teachers to do a lot stuff. So, I was named Alice, just like the Alice in the wonderland.
I like this name though because I like the story and musics in 'Alice in the wonderland'(Disney version)
Recently, this movie was out in the cinema, I went to watch it.
The movie was good but I think it can still be improved.
Anyway.....
It reminded me a lot of things back to my primary school.

In the old days.....

We were naive, silly....sometimes we were very brave, smart and tough.
I miss my old schoolmates.....
At that time, I was too young, I forgot to say something that I would like you all to know for a long time
Thank you for loving me all these time
Without you guys, basically I am nothing
I still remember who is White Rabbit, Caterpillar, Cheshire Cat, Jabberwock, Mad Hatter and lastly The Queen of Heart.....haha

miss u guys

And I think it was my pleaasure for being your Alice in your wonderland before.
Now, my name is Elyse, I have left our 'wonderland'.....how about u??

人与寂寞

2010-03-19T07:09:00.000-07:00

今天，我想什么都不管，坐在这里泡部落格。

刚才一个人去吃晚餐，因为朋友们都有各自的节目。

出门的时候下雨了，但是我死都要出去，不想因为一个人而放弃晚餐，很有骨气吧！

我坐在那看见有几座的顾客也是一个人吃晚餐，但是却不停地在看手机。

心想：真的有那么忙么？还是他们想利用手机来掩饰一个人的寂寞。

有时候，人在遇到寂寞的时候，真的是会措手不及，也不懂得应付，只好在那边装忙咯。

哈哈，我以前也是这样，所以我明白。

一个朋友曾经说过，她不会一个人去吃饭，因为孤单只影，这样会引来路人同情的眼光。

我可不管叻，如果你同情心泛滥，请同情路边的狗，我好得很（听起来有一点伤感）哈哈

其实，人很多时候都是一个人啊，像搭巴士，购物，看书，洗澡。。。。

所以，人与寂寞是一场持久的拉锯战，只有学会和它相处，人生才不会显得悲哀。

P/S：今天的心情是紫色~

很想。。。。

2010-03-16T05:37:00.000-07:00

很想出去犯贱，

很想做一只脱缰的野马，

很想再一次一个人去看电影，然后在戏院里不顾旁人的眼光劈哩哗啦地乱哭一场，

很想整个下午看完已经堆满灰尘的张爱玲，

很想去爬树，去体验一下猴子的心情写照，

很想骑马，让飞逝的风把我的烦恼带走，

很想带上帝去旅行，让我们一起体验地球的魅力，

很想泡澡，让水淹没我五分钟，想象我已身在天堂了，

很想飞到美国去见怡慧，让她知道我还是很爱她的，记得要坚强，

很想去听张学友演唱会，在人群中感受美妙音乐的感动

很想。。。。。。。。。

I need something~

2010-03-15T09:33:00.000-07:00

I need energy, positive one. I find myself surrounded by negative aura.....I want to die ald, please leave me alone. If you guys have problems, please settle it yourself, don't throw it to me. My brain only has limited space for negative items, now it is overloaded ald.

I need water, clean one. In PJ, for God sake, the water is brown in colour. What happened to this country? No clean water at all. Do I really need to immigrant to Paris in order to get clean water??

I need movies, meaningful one. All my friends know I am a movie geek, movies is 90% of my life, I can't live without it. But....directors...please don't produce junk movies, what I want is just 'sincerity'. I can't feel your effort from your movies....hey people, stop cheating consumers!!! Cinema is a dream factory, it is not a recycle factory!!!

My 2010 Chinese New Year

2010-02-16T23:28:00.000-08:00

Happy Chinese New Year!!! I know now is kind of late to say this, but I only can feel the atmosphere of Chinese New Year now. The first day of Chinese New Year in Triang was a disaster because the whole Bera was out of electric supply. I have been living here for 22 years, this is the first time TNB gave me 'special' CNY. They claimed that something exploded, therefore, they needed to transfer a very 'important' machine from Kuala Lumpur, and it needed to take 3 hours. But after 24 hours, they still haven't settled.
Anyway, all of this is over and I manage to survive.

I saw some of my friends. This time, I feel more reluctant to stay longer with them. Maybe because we don't have anything to say, no common topics, no common interests....nothing. Sometimes, I just miss them, but when I meet them....ok...I saw you already...you are perfectly fine...ok...see you next time, this kind of feeling. I hope I could rebond with them and create our own 'NEW' memory.

Yesterday, my dad suddenly wanted to have our very first family meeting with us. It sounded very serious for me as I thought he was going to announce something very important. Before the meeting.......very quiet....then he said we need to take care of each other..... when we work after graduate, we need to respect our supervisors...bla..bla...bla....and finally the most essential message: you both(my sister n I) can find a boyfriend...no matter who is he, he needs to love you with all his heart.........*endless lecture*
My body was electrocuted when I heard this....aiyo...baba..we need to hand this to FATE and DESTINY, this is not something we can control. Find a boyfriend?? where to find?? give me a clue,please!!! My sister said we already have our green card, we can do whatever we want now~

真相的另一面

2010-01-25T06:45:00.000-08:00

当你想要表现得十分悲伤的时候，可以不可以拿出少少演技出来骗我，掩饰一下你嘴角的微笑。

Replay 'Love Song' 100 times~

2009-12-18T06:24:00.000-08:00

I am quite lonely here in PJ, even my sister noticed about it.

In these lonely days, luckily I have Khalil Fong's song accompany me.

My life has already become lifeless without san mao's collection. Thanks God for not taking everything from me~

在我寂寞的日子里，幸好有你的陪伴，谢谢咯~

12.50am

2009-12-14T08:50:00.000-08:00

Suddenly, I think I miss u

谢谢~

2009-12-09T23:44:00.000-08:00

今天，我很开心，因为他说遇上我让他感到非常幸运。

其实，我才是幸运的那一位。。。。只是他并不知道。

忘记

2009-12-07T05:18:00.000-08:00

我以为忘记是一件简单的事，因为我本来就记不住事情。
但是，有些事情就是会深深地烙印在我心里。

为了忘记，我不停地祷告，希望我会消失在茫茫人海。。。
当我快要消失的时候，你却叫住了我。。。我又失去一次机会，继续留在你身边。。

Hell in cinema

2009-11-11T05:28:00.000-08:00

Today I went for a movie with Jane. We watched Jennifer's Body. Basically, it was a pleasant outing but something happened in the cinema. A bloody hell guy sat behind me and keep kicking my chair. What the hell.....I could not concentrate on the story but my whole body was like 'dom' 'dom' 'dom'....it was a total horseshit...I really can't find a word to describe this.

Of course, for people like me I won't compromise or be polite with uni-cell being. I talked to the guy twice with very unfriendly tone "Stop kicking my chair". He did stop for a while but after I don't after how many minutes his cacat legs started again. I really wished I lost my patience at that time and stood and scolded him gravely. But, I did not do something like that in public, God bless me!

The society really sick, how come they can be so rude and treat people like this. If my father were there, he should have said "Jangan tendang lagi, jika tidak saya potong kamu punya kaki nanti".....haha...he always protects when I get in this situation.

Anyway, I hope I would not meet this kind of person anymore, please get rid out of my life, thanks God~

2012....doomsday??

2009-11-10T06:30:00.000-08:00

If 2012 is the end of world, I think I am too lucky to be here to see that moment.

My sister was sharing her thoughts about the end of the world with me, she did not feel nervous or anything, she just unhappy that she hasn't met her first love yet....haha...just a simple wish but very hard to achieve.

And we were joking around and assumed what we will be doing at that time.
The first scenario: You are in the toilet doing your big business but suddenly "BOOM"...the world is ended and you are standing either in hell or heaven without pants...hehe
The second scenario: You are giving your graduation speech on stage but unfortunately you can't finish your last sentence.
The third scenario: You are sleeping and do not realise the disaster before you have the chance. When you open your eyes, you see your beloved Father is welcoming you to His kingdom.

Ermm....Everyone is doing different things by the time world ended...forget about it, don't think too much....sometimes we just have no choice.~

No matter how our world ended, I pretty sure that the movie "2012" will be the best-selling movie before 2009 ended.

22th August 2009

2009-08-22T09:06:00.000-07:00

Today is 22th August, is my friend yee hui's birthday. Here, I would like to wish her happy birthday. We have been close friend for so many years and she is one of the important persons in my life.

Before she left to KL this afternoon, we gave each other a big hug ans she said she was waiting to see me weeping for her leaving. Of course, I did not do that. I am strong enough to accept any sad things that happen in my life now.

When I looked at her face and wondering that we will probably meet after 3 years. 3 years...what a number..what are we when we are 25 years old. And this VIP is going to miss all my happiness and joy for 3 years again. Luckily we are not couple or else nasty broke up is going to happen between us.

Today, I met up with some of my friends. I will always miss them although they are sitting beside me. I don't know why I become so old like my friends are going to leave me....come on...I am just 22 years old...I am not suppose to worry about this. But time flies away really fast, I am still standing there and refuse to move.

New Elyse said: move on and get to know more people...life would be different when you meet up with people.

Old Boo said: I really miss those good old days...we were all innocent and happy back then...we have many things to talk about, many gimmicks to do and many jokes to make....can you find this in new people.

Who knows??

CC's aunty~

2009-08-11T06:44:00.000-07:00

Just now CC's aunty was fetching me back. That was the most 'unforgetable' experience for me. Before I got into the car, I thought CC was in the car so I automatically go to the back seat. But after I opened the door, his aunty asked me to sit at the front sit. Honestly, only at that time I knew CC was not there. Then I sit in front loo. Guess what....
She said: "You did not know there was no one in front, right?"
I said: "I did not know."
then she said: " I think you should know it is impolite to sit behind if there is no one sitting in front." Without waiting for my response, she continue: "I know I am the driver but I think young people should at least know this."
My spine suddenly become rigid and could not bend anymore because the air was frozen in the car. Oh gosh, it was damn scary....I did not mean to offend her but my carelessness seemed has done the job.
After that....long story.....to make long story short....CC and I were receiving a great lesson in the car but I think CC has used to it because he did not give much response to his aunty when she was nagging.
The moral of this story is don't be too serious sometimes because you are chasing people our of your planet.
She can walk and talk really fast.....my advise for her is don't walk too fast because you may miss some beautiful view along the street. Don't talk and judge too fast because you may lose the opportunity to listen to the marvelous thoughts from your friends.
Anyway, thanks for the ride, God bless you!!

new roomate~new life

2009-08-10T09:11:00.000-07:00

When I lost a friend, God will give me another. I don't feel any sadness by lossing a friend when that person is not deserved my concern.
My new roomate just moved in. Initially, I thought I would have problem with this little girl who is just 20 years old. But, surprisingly she is 90% similar to me.
She likes oldies songs. She knows what is blue jazz and bossa nova. She likes self-talk. She likes to share. I think people who likes to share normally don't have much secret within them and I don't need to guess what she is thinking.
Although she is not quite compatible in her study but she is very hardworking in the sense that she always retell what she has studied in her lesson to keep the knowledge fresh in her mind.
Now, we are listening to 'smoke gets in your eyes'. Next time we would have a small party, the theme of the night would be 'ancient melody in 21 century'. Haahahaha....a bit wine and 60's songs.
Thanks God, send me an angel again.~

here I come~

2009-08-03T10:50:00.000-07:00

Finally got my blog here. Ladies and gentlmen, I will keep update my incredible boring life stories here...hehe...welcome to view my blog~