一个人

一个人总要走陌生的路，看陌生的风景，听陌生的歌，然后在某个不经意的瞬间，你会发现，原本是费尽心机想要忘记的事情真的就那么忘记了。 幸福，不是长生不老，不是大鱼大肉，不是权倾朝野。幸福是每一个微小的生活愿望达成。当你想吃的时候有得吃，想被爱的时候有人来爱你。



  

当你老了---叶芝

当你老了，头白了，睡意昏沉，
炉火旁打盹，请取下这部诗歌，
慢读，回想你过去眼神的柔和，
回想它们昔日沉重的阴影。


多少人爱你青春欢畅的时辰，
爱慕你的美丽，假意或真心。


只有一个人爱你那朝圣者的灵魂，
爱你衰老了的脸上痛苦的皱纹。


垂下头来，在红光闪耀的炉子旁，
凄然地轻轻诉说那爱情的消逝，
在头顶的山上它缓缓踱着步子，
在一群星星中间隐藏着脸庞。

P/S: Love this poem~

You can't see sadness from my face~

Smile is just a face expression, it has nothing to do with happiness~

Questions~

Muslims are not allowed to celebrate Valentine's Day. I just knew it this morning. I had a small discussion with my Malay friends after class. They said Valentine's Day has some relations with Christianity, therefore, they are not allowed to celebrate it.
Moving on, we once again touched the topic about Jesus. I heard it before but they stressed it once again to me....If I believe that Jesus is my Savior, I will go to hell. Her face expression just so sure and looked as same as when I met Pastor Chin for the first time. He said he is so sorry to tell me that whoever does not believe in Jesus will go to hell.
Before I became a Christian, I didn't care if I were to go to hell because who can guarantee that we will get peace in heaven. Hell or heaven are the same for me.
After three years of learning about Jesus from my friends, I desire more to know about God and would like to meet Him if He allows.
Actually, I feel like I can't do anything to change the situation but only pray. Why they don't believe that He did sacrifice himself for us?? Does hell have bigger space than heaven?? Why we human have problems in explaining what is right or wrong to the others??
Why?
Why?
Why?
I don't wanna answer these questions, this is way too far beyond my intelligence to answer it.
En Yi told me to have faith and actually I have nothing but only simple faith towards God.


Is this too sensitive to be discussed?? Sorry if you think this is sensitive~

Happy Valentine to all~

我忍。。。and stand still

How come huh one day can happen so many things?? My life just like riding the roller coaster neh......up and down, up and down, and down to hell at the end.
The ceiling fan in my room was not functioning WELL in the past couple of days. And then this morning, danggg...it stopped doing its duty. Ok, fine....I went to the warden's room and see what she could do for me. She said their technicians don't know how to fix this kind of MINOR problem wor....they only know how to fix if there is any BIG thing happen wor....Sweat lor....for them, that broken ceiling fan is minor problem then ask them to sleep in my room la. Ok again, I took her EXPLANATION and asked for room changing. She said she will arrange me to stay at 5th floor. Aunty!!!! Why 5th floor since many empty rooms at 1st floor. I am not looking for a place to commit suicide leh, you don't need to do such a good deed. I really felt wanna cry at that moment because my legs are already injured, and I need to walk 10 minutes to get to my classroom....and now, I need to CRAWL 5 tingkattttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!


After my class, I went to see another warden to take the key. When  I reached the room, tell you what, the room is even worse. The cupboard is broken and the bed is smelly. And there are some dunno-what insects under the bed. In conclusion, it looks more like a haunted house lor.


Then I decided not to relocate and will buy a standing fan on this weekend. This is the best I can do.

This is just the first part .....but now I'm out of energy, I wanna sleep ald. Talk again next time. Tata.

another day in campus~

I seldom write my blog like this three times in a week. Probably I am bored.......and want to talk to myself more.
For those people who always visit my blog, sorry ya....keep babbling in these few days.


Today, I had my class from 7.45am until 5.30pm, it was damn tiring. 
The lecturers' accent was terrible, very few info got into my brain.
But I still pretended that I understood all, and keep nodding my head.
and after that.....memancing~


Luckily, the coffee is great, the food is also not bad at the cafe.
I had a little chat with the students who are studying music, and they are willing to teach me piano, how excited is it.
God, are they the angels You send to me?? :)


After 5.30pm, I had to go to the field to attend my curriculum --- tennis and baseball 
It was quite fun and it spent all my energy in just two hours.


I have left my comfort zone, I feel very very UNCOMFORTABLE and UNEASY now, however, I am very excited and grateful.....because these are the thing that I prayed to get in this year, and now I got it. What I had uttered to God has become true...what I can say....WOW~

Back to campus~

This evening, I was having my solitary walk in my campus, watching the jogging students and also some people playing tennis in the court. I could only feel the peace when I am alone.
Thinking about my future, I felt many uncertainties are going to happen, the sense of insecurity was coming up to my throat, this feeling really killing me.
I also thought of my mum. I don't why she loves me so much, God also knows I am her most rebellious child but she still loves me. I promise to myself at that moment that I am going to love her more in the coming future.
While I am still in my Chinese New Year mood, the environment once again forces me back into the reality. 


Life is life~

 

12.39am

I just wanna record this moment.
I wanna say I am happy to be myself, JUST MYSELF.
I hate of being nice, humble, and friendly to those people that I don't like.
Yes!!!!!!!! I am an arrogant, cocky and rude person. I REALLY AM.
I know we need to grow up sometimes and be mature, but I decided not to change until I think it is the time.
Ok, sleep~

My plan and some wishes

My KU just sent me the timetable and I am so shocked to see the arrangement. The study time is so packed and we also need to go to the tennis court right after the classes....EVERYDAY!!!!!
This is still ok la, still under my expectation. But the sad thing is they will not allow us to leave Malaysia until we finish the course. Mamamia.......I plan to go to Hong Kong or Taiwan with my sister this Jun leh.....I think this time I have no choice loo.....I have to give up my trips...
And my seniors also gave us some PREVIEWS before the school starts. They said we are not going to have extra time for entertainments and need to spend most of the time finishing our assignments. Oh God, this spoils my another plan....I plan to read 25 English books and 25 Chinese books this year. Ok loo....my 2011 will be a NO BOOKS year. NO TRIPS year. NO FUN year.

PARISSSSSS.....wait for me....I will go visit you right after I earn my own money...
I want to visit so many places but my life is so much affected by MONEY....
Takkan I still ask my parents for money at my age...
Be strong, Elyse....you'll be there..

Chinese New Year is coming SOON, there are some  people that I will miss in this red season. Jane, Enyi and Ceek Chean..I miss you guys always as usual. I hope the coming year you all will be in a good condition and get the jobs that you all like. Not forget to mention this, hope you all will find your soul mates in this year :) I always believe that good people come with good fortunes.
Miss Esther Chin, welcome back to the blog world, miss you once in while *serious* Although I am not one of the members in the 'corner lot', I miss the laughs and the fun created by you guys. I know your life in the new environment must be very miserable and need guidance sometimes. Maybe we are not besides you but God always do. Believe in Him and yourself, I think you'll not feel lonely along the path.
Adeline, we seldom talked but I know so many things about you through your blog. So, I consider myself as your close friend in the blog world. Quite worry about you after I read your recent posts. I have never experienced that before but the feeling of almost losing of our live must be very painful and frightening. I can't do anything but can only give you supports here and pray for you. Hope you can also celebrate Chinese New Year during your hard time. 

P/S: The raining days make me sick :(